Just Answer the Question...

Me: Two or three?

Bobby: Depends on what you're talking about.

Me: Just answer the question.

Bobby: Shit, I don't know. (pause) You already know the answer, you're just not telling me.

Me: If I knew the answer I wouldn't ask you. Two or three?

Bobby: You at least know the thing in question.

Me: (blank stare)

Bobby: Three.

Me: Pervert.

Bobby: Figured as much.

Me: Your mom figured as much.

Bobby: Your mom, whatever, ate the sandbox.

Me: My mother was a saint. Asshole.

Bobby: Yeah, Saint Whores-enough.

Me: Well, at least she doesn't have a gaping vagina like your mother.

Bobby: That was the work of Saint Whores-enough.

Me: No, that was the work of your mom being a promiscuous slut. By the way, tell her I said hi.

Bobby rubs his nose.

Me: Why are you picking your nose, cochino?

Bobby: I have an itch, okay? You ever get a zit inside your nose?

Me: Not since I stopped banging your mom.

Pause.

Pause.

Pause.

Bobby: Hi sexy.

Me: Don't hi sexy me.

Bobby: (as Eeyore) Oh-kay. (normal) Hey sexy. See, I changed it from hi to hey.

Pause.

Bobby: I'm sore, now in a good way. In a way that feels good now that I'm sedentary.

Me: Well, you picked three.