Me: They were playing Duran Duran in Old Navy.
Bobby: Really? What song?
Me: I don't remember, but I recognised Simon le Bon's voice. I'm not familiar with their catalogue.
Bobby: Was it upbeat?
Me: Yeah.
Pause.
Me: (singing tune) Da da da da, da da.
Bobby: (singing) Shake up the picture, the lizard and mix it with your dance on the even tide.
Me: Yeah, that was it.
Bobby: (singing) You got me coming up with answers, all of which I deny.
Me: That's awesome. You're like a walking Encyclopedia of Duran Duran music.
Bobby: (singing) I said it again, but could I please rephrase it. Maybe I can catch a ride? I couldn't really put it much plainer, but I'll wait till you decide.
Me: Heh.
Bobby: That's "New Moon on Monday". It's the second of three singles on Seven and the Ragged Tiger. And you're familiar with Duran Duran's catalogue.
Me: Not really. I haven't spooned it and whispered in it's ear.
Bobby: But you know "Planet Earth" and "Girls on Film".
Me: Everyone knows that. (singing) "Girls on film. Girls on film."
Bobby: Ok, you know Rio.
Me: Yeah I know Rio.
Thursday, July 4, 2013
Sunday, June 16, 2013
Just Answer the Question...
Me: Two or three?
Bobby: Depends on what you're talking about.
Me: Just answer the question.
Bobby: Shit, I don't know. (pause) You already know the answer, you're just not telling me.
Me: If I knew the answer I wouldn't ask you. Two or three?
Bobby: You at least know the thing in question.
Me: (blank stare)
Bobby: Three.
Me: Pervert.
Bobby: Figured as much.
Me: Your mom figured as much.
Bobby: Your mom, whatever, ate the sandbox.
Me: My mother was a saint. Asshole.
Bobby: Yeah, Saint Whores-enough.
Me: Well, at least she doesn't have a gaping vagina like your mother.
Bobby: That was the work of Saint Whores-enough.
Me: No, that was the work of your mom being a promiscuous slut. By the way, tell her I said hi.
Bobby rubs his nose.
Me: Why are you picking your nose, cochino?
Bobby: I have an itch, okay? You ever get a zit inside your nose?
Me: Not since I stopped banging your mom.
Pause.
Pause.
Pause.
Bobby: Hi sexy.
Me: Don't hi sexy me.
Bobby: (as Eeyore) Oh-kay. (normal) Hey sexy. See, I changed it from hi to hey.
Pause.
Bobby: I'm sore, now in a good way. In a way that feels good now that I'm sedentary.
Me: Well, you picked three.
Bobby: Depends on what you're talking about.
Me: Just answer the question.
Bobby: Shit, I don't know. (pause) You already know the answer, you're just not telling me.
Me: If I knew the answer I wouldn't ask you. Two or three?
Bobby: You at least know the thing in question.
Me: (blank stare)
Bobby: Three.
Me: Pervert.
Bobby: Figured as much.
Me: Your mom figured as much.
Bobby: Your mom, whatever, ate the sandbox.
Me: My mother was a saint. Asshole.
Bobby: Yeah, Saint Whores-enough.
Me: Well, at least she doesn't have a gaping vagina like your mother.
Bobby: That was the work of Saint Whores-enough.
Me: No, that was the work of your mom being a promiscuous slut. By the way, tell her I said hi.
Bobby rubs his nose.
Me: Why are you picking your nose, cochino?
Bobby: I have an itch, okay? You ever get a zit inside your nose?
Me: Not since I stopped banging your mom.
Pause.
Pause.
Pause.
Bobby: Hi sexy.
Me: Don't hi sexy me.
Bobby: (as Eeyore) Oh-kay. (normal) Hey sexy. See, I changed it from hi to hey.
Pause.
Bobby: I'm sore, now in a good way. In a way that feels good now that I'm sedentary.
Me: Well, you picked three.
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